YELLOW

I HATED YELLOW
(when i was a kid)
I THOUGHT IT WAS UGLY
(it reminded me of 1970s classrooms that reminded me of the nasty public school that i almost went to, where some six-year-old held my five-year-old brother's head in the toilet during his first week of kindergarten)
IT REMINDED ME OF UGLY PLASTIC CHAIRS
(the kind that are molded and the texture looks like a close up of your skin, the little patterns the lines make, the kind with silver metal legs, the kind that are not comfortable to sit in no matter what, the kind that shock you in the winter)
IT REMINDED ME OF BIG BIRD
(i hated sesame street; don't hate me for this admission, i like it now, i think it's awesome)
ALL THE BORING FLOWERS WERE YELLOW
(those stupid daisies that grew on the bush in the backyard that didn't smell great, yellow mustard which was so common in the california hillsides, the yellow broom that grew along the edge of the playground at sequoyah)
IT WAS ONE OF THE MOST BASIC COLORS
(and the variations on yellow are a little putrid)
CANARIES ARE TOO COMMON FOR ME
(i preferred the exotic parrots in the pet shop where we got the poison to fumigate our iguana for mites)
AND SUNSHINE WAS NOT A PRECIOUS COMMODITY
(being from southern california, we had it in spades and i ignored it, but adored the rain. i used to only dream of winter)
I THOUGHT IT WAS AN UGLY COLOR JUST LIKE BROWN
(after all, the hillsides here are yellow and brown when it doesn't rain enough)
I THOUGHT LEMONS WERE DISGUSTING
(before i discovered sugar)
I HAD NO YELLOW CLOTHES
(because I'm blonde and it would detract from my golden tresses)
I GOT MY HAIR CUT AT THE YELLOW BALLOON
(it was a children's salon and it was traumatizing, i only went to supercuts after that. i wanted nothing that wasn't good enough for adults)

but now
i want to paint my room yellow
it is such a happy color
how can you be sad in a yellow room?